PLEASE!!!!!!!!!
I almost hesitate to post this let alone write it, but something happened over the past 96 hours that has given me new hope that soon I will re-join the ranks of the employed. I really don’t want to jinx anything at this point, but like “The Law of Attraction” says, ask for what you want, right?
Well I really want this job at DirecTV!
Even if I am nervous about it.
It’s been a while since I have been in the work-a-day world, 6 1/2 years to be precise, and returning to it is something that I know I have to do. The question is can I handle that atmosphere again after being out of it for so long?
Now some of you are saying “well BigDaddy, it wasn’t that long ago that you were trying to sell Rainbow Cleaning Systems door-to-door. So that counts, right?” Well, that depends on who you talk to. If you said that to certain people out there in the state of Idaho, or anywhere else in the country for that matter, you might get a different response. Something along the lines of “door-to-door sales is not ‘real work’, its nothing but a scam! These people come to our homes to try to cheat us out of our hard-earned money and think they are doing us a favor by selling us their junk that we don’t need. ‘Real work’ is something you do with your hands, you have to sweat and get dirty – that’s when you become a ‘real man’. Don’t give me none of this sissy stuff by showing up at my front door thinking you’re gonna make a livin off of me! Go out there and get yourself a ‘real job’!”
That is the other side of the coin. That is why I say that I haven’t had a “real job” in 2,393 days because those detractors keep telling me that trying to sell Rainbow Cleaners for Rexair Inc. was not “real work”.
But I digress…
I am kind of nervous about this job prospect, not just getting it but something even worse than that – not getting it!!!
See things are coming to a crisis point at the BigDaddy household where Wifey and I need to do something so that we can pay our mortgage and our equity loan and stay inside of our dream house. I don’t know if that is a new job, people start buying stuff through this site, I get the winning lottery numbers or the Publishers Clearinghouse Van pulls up outside my front door – whatever, somethings gotta give!
I guess I never realized just how much pressure I was putting myself under or how strongly I felt about other people’s opinions about me until the dream I had last night. Well, when I say dream I mean nightmare!!!!!!!!
I don’t remember much about most of the dream except for the end. I was with a group of people and we were all trying to escape some disaster or accident that had happened when we came upon the body of a child lying face down by the side of the road. The bus we were riding in stopped and no one on the bus got up to see if the child was alright – except for me. I got out of the bus and slowly approached the child (and you know how sometimes when you dream it’s like you are watching a movie? That’s what this dream was like!). I bent down to check on him and slowly rolled him over. To my horror I found that the child had no eyelids – where his eyes should have been his skin was completely closed over! He started reaching out for me and I could start to hear screaming – more like keening actually. It was a low-pitched, mournful wail that I was hearing…
…and that’s when Wifey shook me awake because as it turns out, I was the one who was screaming. I couldn’t really describe the dream in detail to her so I just told her that I was trying to escape from hell and I was running from people who had no eyes. Later after I had slept some more I was able to piece together more parts of the nightmare and described them to Wifey. She said something very interesting to me…
“Remember how you are telling me how frustrating it is for you that you feel as if people cannot see your worth? Remember how you keep saying that you wish that people could see that you are worth hiring? That is who you were running from! You were trying to escape those people who see you as worthless!”
It makes perfect sense. I have been saying all along that I wish that HR Directors, Managers, Cable News Pundits, “Tea Partiers” and Politicians could just see that not only do I have worth, but that all of us who are searching for a job has worth. Instead, most of them seem to have written us off as worthless – so they cannot see that we have value. These were the zombies I, and all of us unemployed and underutilized people on that bus, were trying to escape from.
Two other things about this – One, I realized later that the keening that Wifey heard that so alarmed her and freaked out the cats – that was actually the child screaming as he was reaching out for me. Two, I know where I’ve seen that child before. Yesterday we took our car into Midas to have an oil change and I was leafing through some National Geographics that they had there. One of the articles dealt with the aftermath of Chernobyl, and one of the pictures was of a child – born with now eyelids – being spoon-fed since he could not feed himself. I didn’t think much about it until later this morning when I realized that he was the child from my nightmare.
So I’m hoping that I did well enough on the aptitude tests for DirecTV to be called in for an interview. They said that they should let me know by the end of the week (which is today) but I’m thinking that it might take longer. I’m going to assume that no news is good news until the phone rings and it is DirecTV HR calling. I’ve had this happen before where I’ve gone on interviews that went well, they’ve said “we’ll let you know by the end of the week” and then nothing happens. I get all depressed, Wifey has to console me and our situation has only gotten worse in the meantime. This time I’m just going to focus on the blog, the stuff I have to do around the house, and painting some more cars that I can race against in NASCAR SimRacing just to keep me occupied.
The bottom line is, I really want this job with DirecTV and I hope they hire me…
…if only so I’ll be able to get a decent night’s sleep.
I think we all have some dreams that have some underlining note. After being out of work for so long, we start seeing things in dreams that we don’t quite understand until later.
What are we afraid of most? Is it ourselves that have become our enemy? Maybe we see ourselves by how others judge us and that we feel as we do because we aren’t being able to utilize our talents. Everyone deserves to have a chance, and given encouragement. When we apply for enployment, and are rejected, it leaves this big impact that maybe we aren’t good enough or that we are letting not only family down but ourselves as well. Employers do not see this, of course or rationalize the fact that we have homes to pay for or that we have people and pets to feed and children to clothe. What they see is what is written on applications and if you are lucky enough for the interview, how we conduct it and get through it. If we are then rejected, our self worth and esteem is guttered by disappointment and later anger.
What we all need to realize is that we can only do so much. Our efforts become trauma to us because we have faced so much rejection. We try because there is always hope but we are left to wonder and doubt ourselves because they do not see the potential we have, know we have but can’t seem to get it across to the ones who interview us.
Dreams show us many things. We can analize and dissect them and it won’t be until later that we see ourselves as failures in others eyes. We just have to believe in ourselves more, and start believing that we are better than those who see us worthless and with contempt. We need to build our characters up and believe that we can and will eventually get the jobs that we know we are qualified for. Maybe if we do that, we can believe that the person who interviews us, will see that we do have more to offer and are willing to take that chance and step outside the box and hire us. Finally, we need to let go of our fears, and stop being so cautious. Maybe we need to re-evaluate ourselves and just take the risk, and relax about interviews and just be oursleves. Not worry so much about how others see us. If we BELIEVE in ourselves, others will, too.
There is always hope!
Yeah, that’s the hope that Wifey and I try to carry with us everyday now. I think I’ve gotten to the point where I now accept that not everyone is going to see my worth as a potential employee. I just have to do the best I can to put myself out there – and no matter if they accept me or not, it’s not my fault. I know what I am worth and I know that I can be a good employee for someone like I was once before.
That is all you can do. Employers need to reorganize their interview skills and start seeing people as a potential employee, instead of interivew them as fast as they can and discriminating on what a credit report has to say about a person.They do not take into account that a credit report shouldn’t be based on one’s character, considering in this economy, there are many that use to have good credit, that no longer do. What is written on paper should not be held against a person, if they make it in an interview and it goes well. They should take into account a person who is willing to work, needs to work and could very well be the best employee they ever had, if given the opportunity. However, many employers only see what is written and are too quick to judge and make a decision on that fact. Circumstances could bring a credit report down. Still it doesn’t make sense to not at least give someone the chance. People shouldn’t be dismissed for that alone. A person’s character is based on many factors, and if they have had a good work ethic in previous employment, despite how long they have been out of work, it should say something about that person, until proven otherwise in efforts, not on paper or reports such as credit. Giving someone a chance could be both benefitial to the company and those around, but employers only want to see what is written before they make a decision and sometimes, that decision is based wrongly. A person’s sense of worth comes within. It helps when others believe in a person, but it has got to come from within and if you believe in yourself, others will, too. At least, that is the impression I have always had. It isn’t aggragance but confidence. Employers don’t see that on paper. In an interview, if the interviewer has had a bad day, you don’t have a chance right from the beginning. If the interviewer only goes by what is written, doesn’t really listen to the person, you are doomed. If the interviewer takes an automatic dislike or sees that you have more experience than he or she, they might feel intimidation. It is a darned if you do or darned if you don’t situation. But if you walk in there with your head held high, listen to the interview, job desciption, etc., and ask your own questions, and explain maybe your circumstances, you might find one out of a hundred that truely could give one a chance, and see the potential. Now a days it is hard to find anyone willing to give anyone a chance based on merit and not a report but if you do, you are lucky!
All we ask for are a chance so that we can be both benefitial to a future employer and to ourself, and family. Just because we are out of work, is nothing to judge us on. If we are willing, capable and wanting to, then please future employers, give us the chance. If it doesn’t work out, then fine but at least let us try! I am who I am because of my strengths, values and work ethics. I am out of work, not because of my own doing but because the economy has put me in this position. All we need is a foot in the door to prove that we are capable and are willing to give 110 per cent. We are worth the effort and we are worth it.
This blog is very interesting