BigDaddyCool

Ask this guy, he'll tell you what it means.

By now most of you may have heard of these so-called “teabagging parties” that are scheduled to take place around the country on April 15th. These are supposed to be a protest by the wealthiest in the nation that the tax rates that they pay will soon be rolled back to what they were during the Clinton Administration.

I get the symbolism myself, I know it refers to the “Boston Tea Party” of 1773 where colonists, disguised as Native Americans,  raided ships of the East India Company and threw crates of tea overboard into Boston Harbor. This was in protest to the “Tea Act of 1773″ which levied a tax on Tea that the East India Company had in surplus and was trying to sell to the Americans on consignment.

What many of the modern protesters fail to remember is that the protest was n0t just about ‘taxation without representation”, but also because the Tea Act made imported Tea cheaper and thus threatened the profits of smugglers of Dutch Tea, and it gave the East India Company a monopoly on Tea in the Colonies.

The Tea was headed for Boston, New York, Philadelphia and Charleston. The ships had been successfully turned away in every port save Boston Harbor where it sat for three weeks with neither side blinking in the dispute. Finally on December 16th, events came to a head, and a group of 30 to 130 men stormed the ships and dumped 342 crates of Tea into the Harbor.

The reaction the the Tea Party was – well, you can understand the conniption fits that were going on in the Houses of Parliamentback then. The British Government responded with a blockade of Boston Harbor, which was part of the “Coercive Acts” passed in order to punish the Colonies, Boston in particular. What were the ”Coercive Acts”? Well, they were the “Patriot Act” of it’s time. This event was one of many which led to the start of the Revolutionary War that started in 1775.

This is what these millionares are using to protest the return of the pre-Bush tax rates – Tea Bags. They are calling for all Americans – well, all Americans who have fat wallets and jobs like them anyway, to join in the fun on April 15th and “Teabag” the Obama Administration.

I really don’t think they understand why the rest of us are laughing at them. First of all, referencing the Boston tea Party shows just how important it is to be educated in this country, so that when you reference some part of American History in order to draw a favorable comparison you don’t wind up misapplying the history lesson and making a total ass out of yourself. Secondly, do they even know what the modern definition of “Teabagging” refers to?

The definition of “Teagagging” as understood by those of us who are laughing our asses off at the ignorance of the Rich-Wingers out there, as found at Teenwire.com:

“Tea bagging” is a slang term for when a person stimulates a man’s testicles withher or his mouth. Some people use “tea bagging” to refer to the act of lowering one’s scrotum into another person’s mouth.

Compared to sexual intercourse, oral contact with the testicles is relatively low-risk, safer sex. Most people are likely to do it without protection. However, because some sexually transmitted infections, like herpes or HPV, can be spread through skin-to-skin contact, it is possible that someone might further reduce the risk by using a Glyde^® dam or plastic wrap for this kind of oral sex play.

Outside the sexual world, “tea bagging” is a term used by wind surfers and parasailors— you are “tea bagged” when you get dunked underneath choppy waters.

Now for a segment of our society that is supposed to have “Family Values” you would think that they would choose something other than a term that describes a sexual act for their cause. This is why the rest of us are laughing at the very idea that people who are well off, have jobs (for now) and who don’t have to worry about if they can pay their bills at the end of the month are going to protest having to pay a little extra come tax time. As if they are above that kind of thing, and that it is something that only the “peasants” should have to do.

Well I’ve got news for them: the people that you think you are better then – the unemployed, underemployed and underutilized workers in this country have been taking it on the chin a lot longer than you have. We have been paying through the nose, through the ears and through every other orifice that you care to mention for a long time. I find it very hard to sympathise with someone who will be protesting having to pay higher taxes and crying “poverty” while wearing a $3,000.00 hand-tailored suit. There are plenty of people hurting in this country right now who don’t even have a pot to piss in, let alone food to eat. You need to grow a set and pay your fair share.

Now I can hear some of you “Rich-Wing” Republicans working it right now: “Just wait, when you get a lot of money BigDaddy, you will change your tune.”

Actually, no - I wouldn’t. If I were to become wealthy overnight…say if I hit the Lottery this week and I suddenly found myself with a lot of money, I would still have the same attitude. Because I don’t need a 20,000 sq.ft. mansion or a fleet of Ferrari’s or private jet – I wouldn’t know what to do with all of that. Wifey and I don’t need a whole lot to keep us happy. Just give us a roof over our heads, food in the pantry and money to pay our bills and we are golden. Anything else is just gravy. Like Vice-President Biden said: paying taxes is a patriotic duty. They are the way we are able to maintain a free society. Taxes are how we pay for our military, not to mention clean water, clean air, fire and police protection that we take for granted. If, or when I hit the lottery I’ll say: “hey now that I have this money, I consider it a privilege to pay my fair share. If somehow my taxes can help save this economy and save some deserving family out there who needs help because they can’t find work or have fallen on hard times then I say: ‘God Bless America, bring it on!’”

So while those of you who choose to participate in this “teabagging” of….whatever it is you are “teabagging”, make sure that you do it with the customary scorn that people in your position have traditionally held for people like us. You know, “the working class”. The people who make it possible for you to support your luxury lifestyle whist using every loophole possible to pay as little tax as possible while we have to give up our children’s future.

Just make sure you have plenty of cake to celebrate with.

You know, as in “let them eat………..