You know I know that every site gets spam, but the variety of it never ceases to amaze me. Even this site isn’t immune from getting spam comments from people who want to promote one thing or another.
I just wish that what they would write would make sense instead of being nothing but gibberish. You know, those entries that are simply a lot of random words thrown together with some keywords that have links embedded in them that make it appear as if a two-year-old were at the keyboard.
Or a monkey.
Or a Congressional Republican.
But how are these e-mails and comments on my site and other forum boards put together? Are the subjects and the content just thrown together as if they were selected from some sort of menu?
Man: You sit here, dear.
Wife: All right.
Man: Morning!
Waitress: Morning!
Man: Well, what’ve you got?
Waitress: Well, there’s viagra and cialis; viagra porn and cialis; viagra and spam; viagra cialis and spam; viagra cialis porn and spam; spam cialis porn and spam; spam viagra spam spam cialis and spam; spam porn spam spam cialis spam World of Warcraft Gold and spam;
Vikings: Spam spam spam spam…
Waitress: …spam spam spam viagra and spam; spam spam spam spam spam spam Government grants spam spam spam…
Vikings: Spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam!
Waitress: …or Lobster Thermidor a Crevette with a mornay sauce served in a Provencale manner with shallots and aubergines garnished with truffle pate, brandy and with a fried viagra on top and spam.
Wife: Have you got anything without spam?
Waitress: Well, there’s spam viagra porn and spam, that’s not got much spam in it.
Wife: I don’t want ANY spam!
Man: Why can’t she have viagra cialis spam and porn?
Wife: THAT’S got spam in it!
Man: Hasn’t got as much spam in it as spam viagra porn and spam, has it?
Vikings: Spam spam spam spam… (Crescendo through next few lines…)
Wife: Could you do the viagra cialis spam and porn without the spam then?
Waitress: Urgghh!
Wife: What do you mean ‘Urgghh’? I don’t like spam!
Vikings: Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!
Waitress: Shut up!
Vikings: Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!
Waitress: Shut up! (Vikings stop) Bloody Vikings! You can’t have viagra cialis spam and porn without the spam.
Wife: I don’t like spam!
Man: Sshh, dear, don’t cause a fuss. I’ll have your spam. I love it. I’m having spam spam spam spam spam spam spam government grants spam spam spam and spam!
Vikings: Spam spam spam spam. Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!
Waitress: Shut up!! Government grants are off.
Man: Well could I have her spam instead of the Government grants then?
Waitress: You mean spam spam spam spam spam spam… (but it is too late and the Vikings drown her words)
Vikings: (Singing elaborately…) Spam spam spam spam. Lovely spam! Wonderful spam! Spam spa-a-a-a-a-am spam spa-a-a-a-a-am spam. Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Spam spam spam spam!
Huh, well what do you know about that?
Oh, and if you want to know the inspiration of this, well look no further:
