I'm putting this fire out right now!
If any of you have read this post before today, you might have noticed some changes…
A few days ago someone who I’ve known at other sites left comments in the post previous to this one. Needless to say the comments were of a personal nature and derogatory towards me and what I am trying to accomplish here. I did something that upon further reflection was an overreaction to the situation, and posted her comments in this post so that I could then comment on them. At the time I felt that I had to respond to what I felt was an unfair assessment of my views, my character, and the choices that I have made as well as the choices that others have tried to make for me.
Upon further reflection I have come to the conclusion that I handled the situation badly. What I should have done was simply delete the comments and take the matter up with her in private instead of making this into a public spat.
Now having said that, allow me to further re-itterate what the aim of this site is…
This site is meant to be a place to support those who are out of work right now, especially if they have been out of work for an extended period of time. This is a place where stories can be told, where information can be exchanged, where people can come to vent if they want to, where people can come to so that they know that they are not alone and that someone understands what they are going through.
This is also a place where people can come to to find something to help them in their job search whether they are tips from posters or products that might give them a leg up in their job search. I myself recently bought a couple of those products through this site, and I plan on making use of them and letting you know how they have worked for me.
Having said that I would also like to make a request to all of you…
If you are someone who has known me from another site and you do decide to comment on a post here, I would ask that you please not make any personal comments about me or anyone else here. A lot of people who come here and to other blogs are already going through enough without having someone else “piling on” the misery from their perspective. Also, I would ask that you not use my real name as this person has done for the following reason…
I do not want a potential employer tracking me down personally through this site as there is a possibility that if I express an opinion that they do not like or agree with it could cost me a job offer. There have been stories all over the media, and we’ve all heard them by now, of people losing jobs because of pictures in their Facebook account, or something they posted on YouTube, or something they wrote on Twitter. I simply do not wish to become another one of those casualties, I cannot afford to have that happen and my wife certainly cannot afford to have that happen.
That is why we have pseudonyms at these places instead of our real names – it’s because some people would try to use what we say here against us back in “the world” and deny us the right to support our families.
So I will ask all of you to respect your fellow poster and to treat them as you yourself would want to be treated.
And from here ever-after, I promise to do the same…
Some people think we do nothing but sit on our behinds waiting for the prfect job to fall into our laps. To make a point, several people have recently commented to me that I should get out more and that I should take whatever I can find. Well, I have tried, with no luck. I am competing with kids fresh out of school. Not just College but High school. I have been told, mind you, from people who have their jobs, that I should go back into retail, cashiering. Mmm, tried that, too, but guess what? My son applied for the same job, and was hired! I was told to get back into the CNA agenda. Well, would have liked to, even tried, but my doctor didn’t recommend it since I was hurt on the job last year.
I get tired of people telling me how I should make money. Well, lets see…If employers weren’t set on hiring those “qualified”,set on hiring those fresh out of school, and would give me a job right this minute, do you think the people who dare address me with disgust after finding I am unemployed, will think any less of me? At this point in my life, others opinions don’t matter, unless they are perspective employers, and are will to take a chance on a 47 year old woman, who has had experience in retail, hospitality, medical and such. I can do circles around the young, and can certainly prove, given the chance that I am exceptional in my work ethics, am reliable, never late and am willing to and can do a job to the best of my abilities.
BigDaddyCool,the woman who left those attacking comments aren’t worth your time, let alone worth writing a comment about in reply. She may have known you a few years but you are trying to do the right thing for you and your wife and she has no part in your life. A friend would be encouraging and supportive. Even a stranger might have words of heartening. This woman who wrote you her opinionated words to attack your character and what you do, isn’t worth it.
I know you probably felt a reply was good at the time but after consideration, it will only add fuel to fire that should have been stomped on and walked away from. I wish you the best in your job search. It sounds like you and your wife could use the break. Having medical myself, from my husband’s retired from the military, I can’t say that it must be easy for your family. But I understand whole heartedly.
I meant to say mustn’t be easy. Those without medical are having a hard time everywhere. Although, the insurance I have may not be the best at all times, it does help. I do wish you the best. I know what a sickness to do to one person and a family and having fought cancer myself, I know how hard it is on family members and how devistating it can be for the one going through it.
Thanks Karol, I came to the same conclusion after thinking about it – it just wasn’t worth the aggrivation of trying to address someone who clearly had a mysterious agenda (heaven knows what) that was only going to cause a spike in my own blood pressure. I know that I shouldn’t let that kind of negativity get to me but after hearing it so much when it’s meant to be impersonal it is really hard to take when the person addresses you by name and by the style of writing you know exactly who it is. This should be a safe haven for all of us and I want to make sure it remains that way.
And yeah, I do understand where you’re coming from in regards to misconceptions about us. I have Retail Management experience yet because I was an Administrative Assistant for a circuit-board manufacturer I get asked “so, why would you want to work here if you have that kind of experience?” It’s a polite way of them asking me “why would you want a job that’s beneath you?” I was downsized as an Admin Assist 9 days short of having three years experience and being considered an Admin Assist II. I’ve tried applying as an Admin Assist II to be told I don’t have enough experience, and when I apply for an Admin Assist I they tell me I have too much!! Oh come on!!!!
We did get a little bit of good news today in the mail though. Wifey spoke to Auntie a few days ago to feel her out about borrowing some money so that we could pay some utilities, buy our cats some food and pay for my Cholesterol medication. In the end after explaining the situation Wifey couldn’t bring hereself to ask. Today when we got the mail we got a surprise from Auntie…a check and some cash – along with a note that started out with “I know you didn’t ask – deal with it!”
We couldn’t help laughing between our tears.
So yeah there are good people out here who have been in our spots who get it and understand.
And I thank God for each and every one of them.
So very true. I am so glad that your wife’s Aunt saw through the hesitation and knew the difficult times you both are going through. Definately good news. And I am happy for you. It isn’t easy. My husband and myself were having a difficult time trying to figure out how we would manage the bills, being seperated by several states. I still have to take from our savings but I am managing by the skin of my teeth, watching every penny come in and out the door as fast as it does. Not easy. I have taken the last of my unemployment and finished buying paint for the rest of the house, and I have started to clean the carpet, with a borrowed shampooer from my sister. Overall, by the time I leave this rental, it should look newer than when I moved in but I was determined not to leave it dirty and looking worn down from the five years I lived here. The only thing now is, short on money and had one hell of a surprise when I got the cell bill. My son went over his texting minutes and it was a whopping blow to the budget. Now that he is working, I told him he would have to pay for his minutes this week. (Hopefully, teach him a lesson in responsibility!) I have two weeks, and the move can’t come fast enough for me. Hard to get excited over son’s graduation but it is because I am tired….
Anyway, Don’t sweat the small stuff, don’t let your blood pressure rise over other people’s stupid and inconsiderate comments. Again, not worth it. I can understand not wanting identies known in certain things like this but you know what, if you can, delete them, and move on and save yourself the annoyance.
The next time someone asks you why you would want to work for them, having your experience, tell them you kind of fall in between the cracks. You either have too much experience or not enough. Honesty is best. I do. It is hard looking for work and trying to reinvent your situation to try and appease someone who thinks such things. Maybe it will get them thinking that you need the job and give it to you….By the way, read your other blog and good luck with the DirectTV. I am praying you get it! Hang in there. Maybe your luck is about to change and things will start falling back into place.